Baby is due in 10 or so days. I realize that this time table doesn't mean anything for him, but it means being close to the end of this season for me. I have to admit, I'm tired. I'm sore and tired. I'm sore and tired and I'm so over all the little things my body isn't doing that it should or is doing that it shouldn't. I'll spare you all the gory details. I understand now why pregnant women say they are done or ready for it to all be over or VACATE THE PROPERTY KID. I couldn't understand that a few months back. Back when the bump was of manageable size. Also back when it wasn't a whole production to just roll over in bed at night. Beached whale doesn't quite even describe it. While I do still love and very much enjoy feeling the baby move about in there and how easy it is to take care of him at this point, it's just getting to be a burden to go about my every day life. You know, like basic life tasks like walking or bending over. Also fitting into booths at restaurants or thinking I can fit through a space when I clearly cannot (not embarrassing at all, as you can imagine).
Yet, no matter how ready I am physically, I'm still not sure if I'm ready mentally. I know once he's here I'll love him to pieces and will say things such as, "I can't recall what life was like without him" or gooey over-exaggerated statements like those. I'm just a bit, nervous. Being up at all hours of the night, breastfeeding, diaper changes, living my life around a little persons needs. Getting to know this little guy. It seems so different from what I'm used to. Beyond that I think my biggest fear is losing the time I'm used to one on one with my husband. I love my hubby and after being married for almost 8 years, I'm very comfortable with how things are. Not the bad comfortable either. The nice comfortable, where you know each other in and out and consider each other best friends. The person you still can't wait to see at the end of the day. My travel buddy, to explore new places with and create memories with. I know everything will be better than I had imagined once I get to the other side of it and see it. Right now though, it just seems a big daunting.
I do find it funny though, how many relatives and friends are coming out of the woodwork just to check in on me and make sure I'm still gestating. I can't even count how many e-mails and texts I've gotten that go to the tune of, "No baby yet?". NOPE. NO BABY. Believe me, I'll let you know when it happens.
On that note, I need to go get more things in order. We need hand sanitizer up in here. And food. And crap. Lots of other crap.